THE VERDICT IS IN

Gloria called me back into the meeting, i noticed no one looked directly at me except Sally, Gloria and one other womon, so i pretty well guessed i was vote as persona non gratis. I sat down on the floor and it seemed as though everyone started talking at once, at this point i said i can not hear anyone because all of you are talking (me alter appeared and said to me great start girlie, great start, that should win you some friends) of course it did not. Well anyway everyone stopped talking and Gloria began, she looked at me and i could see the sadness in her eyes, she said the group has decided that you must stay away from meetings for a month which at that time they will again meet on if you stay or go. I said o hell why make it so painful for yourselves and me why not just tell me to go now. (me alter showed up again and said easy girl, easy, calm down) i closed my mouth, with this Sally simply said I love you, I started to cry did not intend to but when i heard Sally say I love you i started to cry. I heard one womon say o please the big dyke cries, and another womon say to her you really have a hard on for her don't you then i heard some womon say o shut the f... up. I said very fine i will abide by the wishes of the group. With this Gloria said although you can not come to the meetings for a month, you can still live here if you wish. i was about to say all of you can jump off a bridge when my alter came to me and said (don't you really know love when you hear it? what did you really learn on the streets being homeless? What? I asked the group for what reason was i being given a month and not accepted back into the group immediately? The womon who said " the big dyke cries", said because some of us want you to know how we felt when you just up and left us and did not tell us why or what, at least we care enough to tell you, you did not give us the same respect, you just decided to reject us without letting us know why. I looked around at the group of wimmin and for the first time in a long time, i felt cared for by them. I stood up and said I will accept what you have decided for me and I will return in a month to see what will happen i said thank you very much for you caring and left the group, went back outside, rekindled the fire, did an herb and sat starring at the fire till after the group was over and the wimmin left. I was wishing very much that Gloria and Sally not come out to the fire and they did not. I spread a piece of cardboard i had gotten from a dumpster, laid down, and fell asleep. Wow sleep came easy.