CAN WE EAT PLEASE?

You know so much has been on the table that i can digest, but now i need food. So for the next (LESBIAN HOUSE DINING) in-wimmin-only-space, i am going to go all out for food, since i can spend some of this money on food i will do that. I am starting with my neighbor down the street, she has an aki tree, and i know that many of the wimmin have never tasted aki, and those who have never the way i am going to prepare it as a strudel with basmati rice, remember the aki is poisonous until it breaks open and let the gases out, so i always get the aki i use from the womon up the street cause she is Jamaican and has grown and sold the aki for years, her aki is always freshly picked for each customer, and is always so good, in talking with her i found out that she grows all her trees organically and has been for years. Corn is still in season so i am going to make a corn pudding, collard greens mixed with mustard greens and callaloo. It's getting cooler so i will make some hot green tea, sounds very good to me. I found a new fruit today i call it a fruit, i ask the man who was working around the tree, if he know what it was he called it a pitch harbor, i have n ever heard of this one will need to look it up before i eat or serve it. Every thing is plant based, good no gab on that one. Music let's go for Hazel's LOVE OF MY LIFE, i think everybody will be in a sort mellow mood, i am, lights just right, not cafeteria style, plant center piece on table but away from food, no talk about possible or real allergies,chairs,some and some milk crates, i must really deal with the house thing, it is getting really to small here for all of us, maybe I'll suggest someone else house for next time,will see.

THE HOUSE?

So two pee breaks later and still no talk about THE HOUSE,so i mentioned it and to my surprise the wimmin wanted to table the talk about THE HOUSE for another time or rather another action/event of LESBIAN HOUSE DINING.That really is ok with me. One womon the one who said she had the hots for one of the wimmin (no i called it hots), wanted to talk about her feelings that she said were still there for the mystery womon. I opened my mouth to say something and decided not a good time nor thought. However i did think to myself o hell just tell the womon how you feel, i caught myself cuz i of all wimmin need not talk about telling someone hell just tell her how you feel when i can barely tell myself how i feel. A womon in the group did something that i thinks takes eggs, she asked the womon am i the one you have the hots for(well she didn't say hots) she said feelings for? I said to myself what if she says no can this womon take that? what if she said yes, could she take that? Well the womon answered yes, the whold group got quiet and the womon who asked turned scarlet, and i said to myself well i'll be damn. Then someone said that she thought the action/event had been long enough and she needed to go, pretty everyone else nodded their heads in agreement, but i wanted to hear more, the scarlet womon was getting a really deep color is that magenta? I wanted to hear more,but scarlet and her newly announced love were busy looking at each other and i think everyone in the room wanted to leave them alone, of course that didn't happen. Some one said yes i think it is time to call it quits for the night,and we did.

OK I'M NEW ET TU TU?

Well the action/event continues, this time i want to see who if anyone bring up THE HOUSE, but i must bring up what we will do with the money and food that is left here after the action/event is over,so how to do that. One of the new wimmin asked what was the purpose of the group,one of the wimmin who had been here before explained that we were a group of wimmin who got together in wimmin-only space to deal with what we saw to be dividing factor between us particularly the 3M's men meat and money, and how we could demise the divide if we consciously made a decision to do so and that we felt that would make our own lives more meaningful and also the lives of those we love. She asked if wimmin were the only ones we were concerned with since the group was for wimmin-only. Another womon answered that at the moment we were concerned with wimmin-only and particularly lesbian, although every womon there was not a lesbian. She said she was not a lesbian and did not see at this time what meaning the group would have for her and she thought perhaps she would not be back. Many of the wimmin there made an attempt to convince her that she should come back for at least one meeting to see how it felt for her, i said if she thought that the group had no meaning to or for her then she was very wise in making a decision not to come back, i heard someone say o don't say that, however it meant nothing since i had already said it, and meant it sincerely. Why should anyone be here who does not want to be i asked, i would not be here if i did not want to be and i said so. Well some of the wimmin were very upset at what i said some were not. I asked if we could talk about the food and monies that were left here after each event. I mentioned that a womon had called me and took me to task because i gave some of the food to someone and spent some of the money for food,water, and paying a light bill, and that she thought that some discussion needed to be had about what happens or what should happen to the foods and monies left over from our events/actions. One womon said she thought the money and the food should rightfully be left wherever the action/event took place and the money should be used to pay for the cost of the action/event, for lights water and some applied to the rent of the building, she also said she thought this was a fair deal to whoever gave up their place for the actions/events. Another womon said she thought that at the end of the evening the amount of money should be announced and the amount of food left over should also be announced, and then a decision should be made about what to do with it. Another said no discussion should be made about any of it since the meeting are held where they are held and whatever was left should be left in good faith to the womon who was having the meeting. Another suggested we leave the food to be used as used and the money be put into a bank account to be doled out for use whenever necessary. Another asked what account should it be held in and in whose name? Another suggested we use the money to buy stock in some company, and the food to be used as the womon whose house the action/event take place saw fit.Now i noticed the discussion about food was a very short one the discussion on money seem to take up a lot of time (my alter said isn't this interesting?) As so the discussion on money went on and on ad nauseaum, till some one finally said can we come to a conclusion on this money thing and get on with something else, she said i wanna talk about the move to THE HOUSE. The response to this was, we must put this money thing to rest before we go any further. So back to the discussion on money. Suggestions on money use put it in a box and once a month we will make a decision on how to spend it, bring utility bills to the meetings pay them from the money we have and put the rest in a box till the paying of bills time again, in the meantime, who will keep the money or where will it be kept, G..... has a safe in her home, get a safe deposit box, again open up a bank account, leave it with the womon who is having the event/account, hire a bookkeeper or accountant,buy e bonds, and on an on. I said to myself they talk as though we have a zillion dollars it is all of 85.dollars. So i said so, i said hey y'all we are talking about 85 big ones, so could we talk as though we have 85dollars and not a zillion. One womon said we must think big in order to be big, i asked who said anything about being big i thought we were talking about the use of some money. One womon said since we seem to not be able to decide what to do with the money, why not leave it like it is until we can come up with something and at the end of each action/event we see what we have left and then make a decision on what to do with it. Sounded good to me let's see what the others think. O no here it comes a lets vote on it. WE or i should say they voted i did not, one womon said well if you don't vote on it you have nothing to say on how it is spent, i said that is definitely not true, i do have something to say on how and i have a choice not to vote or to vote, so i choose not to. Anyway they voted on it and decided to leave all foods and monies with the womon whose home/house that the (LESBIAN HOUSE DINING-in-wimmin-only-space) event/action occurred, and decisions would be made on what to do with it at each event/action. I could have suggested that in the beginning o but the discord that would have caused would have been to much for me to take. But finally a decision.WHEW. We still haven't discussed THE HOUSE,i guess that's next but now it is time for a break, i gotta pee.

O.K. I AM NEW ET TU

Well i have fixed the apartment up with a lotta candles and greenery from my apartment yard, am expecting 25 wimmin to be here for the (LESBIAN HOUSE DINING-in-wimminn-only-space ) to be really awesome tonight, lights at right brightness, music Laura Love,love that womon's music and presentation,i don't know where all the wimmin will park, the woman who runs the apartment building has started to complain about the amount of cars parked around the building, told her not to worry we would stay out of driveways, she didn't seem to please with my response, don't know what else to say. Wimmin are starting to show up i realize i don't know all of them who is this one oh wow i think in like her. Wonder if she is a lesbian remember everyone who comes here to the meetings is not lesbian, will find out. Hah! G..... is here wow she looks good too, maybe i just horny. Where did that expression horny come from, i don't develop horns when I'm hot,why horny? Well anyway here is another womon i don't know,she seems interesting enough wrapped in all that fabric i wonder where is she from. A total of 7 wimmin here i don't know. Everyone seem to receive the food well, i assured the womon who has a wheat allergy that the pasta is made from quinoa, the tofu is not GMO the sauce is vegan, the ponderosa lemons are organic and from a womon's tree. I wonder if this womon checks everything that she eats like this all the time, i am going to ask Iher as soon as i get a chance. Everybody awhed and ooohed over the food and enjoyed it. One womon had made a lemon cake it was good, this womon who has the wheat allergy could not eat any because it was made from flour,some wimmin questioned the ingredients, eggs sour creme milk all animal products, one womon said we should not eat it there since we had agreed on plant based foods only. I said the royal we was hard for me to hear i liked home made cake and i was going to have a piece. This caused quite a stir, not the cake me eating it. I made it known that i did not care what anyone had to say about it and that i would save my piece to eat when everyone was gone, and that i would not eat it at the meeting, a womon responded that she thought i said one thing and did another, since it was my idea to have plant based foods at the action/events. I reminded her that i would eat it when i was not at the meeting. She wanted to talk about wimmin bringing foods that were not plant based to the meeting to be shared by others, she wanted that stopped since that did not stay true to our agreement. She said she was in favor of wimmin bringing additional foods for the meeting as long as they adhered to our decisions about the food being plant based, we all agreed. I told the wimmin if they wanted to bring me some of the foods that they made we could talk about it. Another womon said if that was going to be the case anyone could bring food that did not have to plant based to be eaten by anyone who wanted it as long as they did not eat it at the meetings, another womon said then why bother with the meetings why not just eat at each others house whenever we wanted and call the meetings quit. Wow and all of this came from a home made lemon cake. I have this strange feeling that a vote is coming. After much discussion about food the agreement ended up like this. Plant based foods and drinks only at our (Lesbian House Dining-in-wimmin-only-space) this will hold true for all foods and drinks at the action/events. Any other agreement on food made between the wimmin outside of the (LHD) events.actions was between the wimmin who made it.I could live with that no problemo. The womon who declared herself an addict to meat, said she had not had meat to eat in two days and that she really felt like hell, that she actually felt sick, one womon told her that it was all in her head, another womon said to her that she needed to develop personal mental strength, one other said she needed to have a nice juicy bloody steak, another said she thought if the womon could put her mind somewhere else she could overcome this longing for animal body parts, another gave her the name of an addiction expert, another said she thought the womon was getting her meat thing off by talking about it and she also said that this was a common practice among those who were addicts of any thing, another womon said she thought that perhaps this womon had not eaten any meat recently because she noticed that the womon smelled different. I was listening to all of this and i said to myself weird shit comes out of our mouths,at this point me alter said look whose talking. I didn't know what to say to this womon i could see she was in intense mental pain so i just kept my mouth shut, what could i say, me mother always said if i could not think of something helpful to say then say nada.I cant believe all of this reaction from myself, i wonder if it is not time for these meeting to be held in some one else house. Well the womon with the meat addiction seems to be more comfortable now that she has had a chance to talk, i wonder what value will or does she find in all this advice, i mean does this really stop her from eating meat or does this really make her feel better to talk about it? does she really want to stop eating meat? and why if it makes her feel so bad why would she want to do it? I want to ask her all these questions but i also want to be correct in my relating to her, what to do?and what to do?what to do with kindness. The conversation about THE HOUSE has not come up yet i know it will I'm sure G.....will bring it up if no one else does. This is going to be a long action/event. I asked can we take a break for 5 answer yes. wow.

FIXING FOOD

Well the time draws near i have decided what to fix for food that night, i froze the tofu gonna make tofu nuggets, found some organic tomato sauce and i have the pasta so will fix a tomato pasta dish,got some organic greens from my mothers neighbor garden so we will have a mix green salad, with balsamic vinegar and ponderosa lemonade, pasta a la tomato sauce, tofu nuggets, that should do it,gonna make enough for 25wimmin and hope that will do it, before i went away wimmin would bring some food for us to share so I'll see if the habit is still alive. A lot is going on right now so i think the topic will be very intense so maybe its a good thing that we have a light meal for tomorrow night. I am very nervous i don't know why,may be because of anticipation about subjects that are sure to come up. This feels like my first (Lesbian House Dining) action/event, i hope i remember everybody and i hope everybody remembers me. Wow 25 wimmin that's a lot to me

TO BEGIN AGAIN OR ANEW WHICH?

Well it seems like a long time ago that i was here. I must resume my conversation with the womon about the food and money use from that that was left from the last (LHD-in-wimmin-only-space. I have 90.dollars left from last time, some basmati rice, some organic pasta, no fruits or vegetables i do have 2 lbs of the organic tofu left in the freezer. I think rather than talking to her i will take this conversation to the group for resolution. I have called 18 wimmin to remind them of the action/event to take place on Friday night here at my apartment in an unsafe part of town, of the eighteen all said they were coming and 3 said they were bringing 3 other wimmin.Don't know what i will prepare for food, i asked one womon if she could bring something from her garden and another if she would bring some ponderosa lemons from her tree both agreed. I know that this event/action will be crucial because of the need to also talk about moving and i don't know if i want to move or not,will see what happens, for now need to focus on food preparation,what will it be?

I TAKE MYSELF WITH ME

Many moons ago an olde womon told me that no matter where we go we will always take our selves with us, first time i heard that one i said to myself wow tis amazing how the obvious often times seems so hidden. I now realize what is meant by that statement,no matter where i go, who i see who sees me,how i see what i see tis i who is there, me ,the me the me, sometimes i see clearly, sometimes not so clearly, however tis still me the me.While on vacation i saw a lotta me and a little of me, i saw me in so many other wimmin, and then i saw so little of me in other wimmin,but it all came back to me the me. The three divides where there and everywhere, many of us acted as though we could not see them but we did, many of us decided there were no three divides where we were but there was, many of us decided that we did not know what was being spoken about but we did. The 3M's reared their heads on every occasion they could, and they were dealt with in a varied mash of ways.-LESBIAN HOUSE DINING- in-wimmin-only-space is really not a new idea nor is it one just recently discovered, it simply a matter of visibility or in other words how she shows herself and when,and perhaps why. Could you imagine some one getting into an argument over a peach, a plum, an apple, a leaf of lettuce, a chicken breast, a lobster claw, a pig ear,a cow behind, a fish head,a dog, a cat, a bird, a glass of beer, a glass of wine, a glass of whiskey,a glass o milk, a glass of lemonade, a glass of tea, a glass of water, a box of salt, a box of pepper, a dollar,a car, a house, a dress, a pair of pants, a pair of shoes, a hat, a set of long nails the ones on and off the end of hands, a nose, a color, a place be that place a country or a chair? whats the point? there is none. I have noted that it is impossible to be rid of the 3divides, the 3M's, what i have noted is, i and each one of us who decide must constantly and persistently daily and moment to moment work on helping to effectively demise the negative effects of the 3M's. How we do it, when and where we do it is extremely important especially if we want the effects to become a regular part of daily life. The effects of Meat,Men and Money have to be constantly examine by wimmin and especially us lesbian wimmin because if for no other reason but our perceived effects on ourselves and those we love. Many of us who have had many experiences in wimmin-only space know that explaining the effects of this space is really inexplicable, yet we feel the need to explain,the same is so when we have experience the effects of being in a (LHD-in-wimmin-only-space) where there is an conscious decision to focus on lesbian/wimmin in wimmin-only space,where there is a conscious decision to demise the effects of the 3M's MEAT,MEN,MONEY. This is not always a pleasant space, but i like to think that it is a space based in love, love for each other and love for others, realizing that we all have to see if we can live in some form of harmony even if we don't really know what that means. I had another occasion to be in a (LHD-in-wimmin-only-space),while on vacation and the same concerns we have had to deal with here and still do were very apparent where i was, with the same attention drawn to the effects of the 3M's on each and every womon. I have argued over a pigs ear,a chickens breast,a cows rump and now a lettuce leaf and a glass of water. I feel very disappointed in myself right now, not so much in myself, but in my behavior over a lettuce leaf and a glass of water, would i do it again? I have to give thought to that.