THE PHONE CALLS

I really do know when things are abrewing ascrewing and things are doing just that, got some phone calls this a.m. wimmin wanted to know if i was tired of having (LESBIAN HOUSE DINING)events/actions at my apartment in an unsafe part of town, of course they did not say in an unsafe part of town i did, i told them no i was not tired, another asked what was i going to do with all the food that was left from the last event told her some of my thoughts, was interesting when i mentioned preparing some for the neighbors she got so salty said that was not what the food was left for i asked well tell me what the food was left for she said for us to prepare and eat it ourselves and for other wimmin who might come to the events/actions, she said she did not remember signing up for a role as a social worker or a food provider for people who did not want to work for their own. This is the same womon who seemed so angry at me at the last event/action. I know i will have to get at the bottom of her feelings i realized now is not the right time. She also asked me what was going to happen to and what was happening to the money that the wimmin left at each action/event, i told her that i had been giving thought to writing out what i have done with the money in the past and my plans for it in the future,she wanted to know who gave me permission to use the money and to decided what to do with it? Well i gotta say these questions caught me by surprise and i told her that, her comment i think we need to talk about this at our next meeting and gain some clarity on it. Well i want u to know that the shit hit the fan in my head, i asked her how did she think the water lights phone and other creature comforts that were used by the wimmin who came to my apartment in an unsafe part of town were paid, she said she did not think that was a concern of hers nor of the wimmin who came there, i told her we do need to discuss this in the group and that i had to go could not talk to her anymore. The truth i had to stop talking to her cause i was really beginning to loose it, i could feel the sweat on my forehead, my hands were damp and my heart had started to beat fast, so i knew it was time to say good bye, i did. Wow was i pissed off what who does she think she is? Me alter said to me that's what she was asking you who do think you are? Who do i think i am? I am the one who gives up my place for the actions/events, me alter said aw now aren't you great cause we all know if it wasn't for you wimmin could not meet with other wimmin, that is not what i mean, well she said what the hell do you mean? You make yourself sound as though you are the saving grace here, i do not, i still wanna know how the hell are those comforts to be taken care of certainly not all by me where am i to get the extra money to take care of those increased cost because of more bodies being in the apartment? Who is paying me for preparing food? using utilities? washing dishes? keeping the place hospitable and clean? what about those things? I have been doing all of this, me alter said no you have not all the wimmin help with the food and the dishes and other things so no you don't do all of it alone, and then they bring food and money and they don't get paid for this. I am not asking to be paid i simply think that this should not be a cost to or for me alone, me alter said it is not,so why get so upset? so talk about this in the next action/event, i plan to, me alter said i think that is all the womon was asking, so o.k. no angst eh?