MIS JUDGE

You know i thought a lot about the womon i called who said she would not come because of what she had heard, and i thought a lot about myself and asked myself would i not go somewhere solely based on what i had heard? would i go somewhere solely based on what i had not heard? I also thought about judging mis judging not judging. Now what is that really about? I know that i make judgements about someone or thing every waking and some sleeping moments, so whats with the angst over as i said misjudging in this case? AY its that alter going for it again, so anyway i grabbed hold of me alter sat her down on a stool and said to her do you wanna talk about this? She said i don't like to always be looking into my navel or up me ass and if i want to say a word i can do it without angst i am the one with the power, i imbue words with power, i am powerful, so this angst over words gets me very very crazy. I finally calmed my alter down and now i am back to myself,o.k. Now back to the (LHD-in-wimmin-only-space) action/event. Major thing here FOOD, now there is still some fresh veggies left from the last event here, i look in the pantry and find some more basmati rice, nothing for a salad, there are some limes and 2 mangos left over, OK. now i have to face that divide called money again, i have exactly 20.dollars, must make a decision buy some more food, use what i have, call some womon for help, what to do? You know there comes a time i think in all of our lives when we just do what-ever (i use to say what ever we are lead to do and now i ask who will lead me and who will i follow) SIT DOWN ALTER O.K.? So anyhow the FOOD. I thought of an old womon i know when i was a little girl, the first time i met her was around a fire she had going outside of a small strange smelling little house that smoke came out of at the roof, her name is Missie and i am told that she is one of my cousins. I remember sitting next to her near the fire and she started telling me how to parch peanuts in an open fire, she also told me how peanuts grew and to this day i will always remember her saying when you get ready to reap the peanuts you must go slowly because the nut is so on top or as she said right there looking at you and you could miss it very easily, now as i think about this she is the one who taught me fire and how to use fire. I remember asking her why the smoke came out of the top of her house like it did, she said to me this house is a smoke house and i tend it, she told me what a smoke house was, what it was used for, and that when it was cooled down enough she would take me in there. She did that and the impression on me was and still is very livid and viberant to this day. And o.k. about the food i will need for the (LHD-in-wimmin-only-space) action/event. What to do?